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Psychology Today identifies impulse control as “the ability to experience an impulse without acting on it.” Often we experience feelings or a desire to act that may be disruptive or counterproductive to the task at hand. In children, impulse control is something that can be taught and learned.
Elizabeth Janca, an experienced school administrator, licensed professional counselor, and Possip Reporter discusses techniques to increase impulse control.
What is an impulse and what does it look like?
An impulse is an emotion bursting into action. Impulsivity can look, feel, and sound different for each person. Are you or your student someone who jumps from task to task when you think about it because you struggle to prioritize? Or maybe impulsivity sounds like blurting out an answer in class when you’re excited. Perhaps it feels like your body needs to be moving. Being able to identify how impulsivity presents itself can help address it.
We also know there are times when it’s ok to act impulsively and times when it’s not. Having conversations as a family to identify these situations can be impactful. For example, it’s not ok to act impulsively and blurt out an answer in class, but it is ok at recess to feel a desire to run around and do so. Additionally, having discussions about why someone may struggle with control can help build empathy.
What is impulse control and how do I do it?
Impulse control is the ability to control impulses or drives, not to allow an emotion to burst into action. There are many ways people can control impulses, but some popular ones are freeze vs melt, breathing, visualization, counting, self-talk, reducing distractions, breaking tasks into pieces, and role play.
Freeze vs Melt
Freeze vs Melt is a tool to use in practice situations. Freeze is when you pause/stop and let the other person go. Melt is when you act without thinking. As a class, talk about what Freeze and Melt would look like in each of the following situations:
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Breathing
Breathing techniques like those used for anxiety can be useful in grounding our actions. Examples include:
- Deep breaths
- Box Breathing
Visualization
Imagine the following:
- Stop
- Breath out – pretend to breathe out the words
- Wait your turn – imagine the words in a cloud waiting for you
- Breath in – pretend to breathe the words back in
- Repeat until it is your turn to talk
- Share your thoughts
Counting
Remind yourself to count to three out loud or to yourself before you speak or act. While counting, you can consider if what you are going to say or do is a good choice. |
Self-talk
Self-talk is a way to help think through choices by talking yourself through what is happening. Helpful things to say are:
”I can do it!”
”I will make good choices!”
”How can I make this work?”
Saying these things can help you think through if what you are about to say or do is a good choice.
Reduce distractions
Reducing clutter means removing any extra items that can distract you from what you should be doing. If you only have out what you need to focus on you will less likely to have to control your impulse of getting distracted by something else.
Break tasks into pieces
This is similar to chunking classroom assignments to make them more manageable. When a task seems big or overwhelming you may not know how to start or keep moving forward, if this happens there is a higher chance of not doing what I am supposed to and making a poor choice. Breaking up a task into 3 to 5 clear parts I can see what I have left to complete, will feel like I am making progress, and will stay more focused.
Roleplay
Acting out or talking through situations and outcomes can be helpful for me so that we know how to act. When we talk through a situation we can talk about what happens when we make choices or have reactions, both good and bad. Having the chance to act out or talk through situations helps us remember what leads to making better choices in the moment.
Impulse control is a lot like using coping skills when we have strong emotions. It’s important to talk about, identify options, and practice so that in the moment we are better equipped to handle the situation.
Speed Read (tldr): of Supporting Mental Health: Impulse Control
Understanding Impulse Control: Impulse control involves managing the urge to act on immediate emotions or desires. It’s essential for effective functioning, especially in structured settings like classrooms. Recognizing how impulses manifest, such as jumping between tasks or blurting out answers, helps in managing them.
Techniques for Managing Impulses: Practical strategies for controlling impulses include “Freeze vs Melt,” breathing exercises, counting to pause before acting, self-talk for positive reinforcement, reducing distractions, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and role-playing scenarios.
Teaching and Practicing Impulse Control: Impulse control can be taught and improved over time. Engaging in discussions and practicing these techniques helps individuals, especially children, develop better control over their actions and decisions.
Read below for resources, tips, and the why!
